Whiskers
by AnteaterFang
Summary: Everyone knows of the famous Marauders: Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs, and... Whiskers? The writing booklet a the fifth Marauder: Minerva Lupin, Remus's sister, who later became known as Professor McGonagall.
1. A Writing Booklet

**AN: Okay, peoples. I just realized that this chapter was probably pretty confusing before (with the whole truth book thing). What happened was, I crossed out all the things that Mimi said that weren't true, but I didn't realize that didn't let you use the faint that I used for that. So, now all the things that aren't true are bolded, which isn't nearly as good, and might be kind of confusing, because author's notes are bold, too, but there's not really much I can do.**

**Did that make any sense?**

**Anyway, this chapter is pretty much the same, as is the next one, with just a few more things bolded and a couple changes of words.**

Chapter 2

Good morning Writing Booklet!

It's really early right now… I think… Either that, or it's really late. It's kinda hard to tell right now. All I know is the sky is dark.

I know, I have such great observation skills.

See, I would be able to tell the time, if it weren't for someone breaking my clock last night (coughRemuscoughcough) so now I must resort to guessing.

Anyway, as promised, I will now tell the story of yesterday (or today depending on if it is morning or night at the moment).

The Story of Yesterday

Once upon a time their lived a fair maiden in a faraway kingdom who was plagued with an older brother who insisted on beating her in everything. His name was Remus Lupin, better known as ReRe.

See, yesterday when we were driving to King's Cross I was really excited about going to Hogwarts (I mean, who wouldn't be? It's _Hogwarts_!), but I was **just sitting there quietly minding me own business when** ACK! STUPID TRUTH BOOK!

I don't know if I already mentioned this, but when my parents gave me this writing booklet, they it a spell on it so that anything I wrote in here that wasn't the truth would get crossed out. Don't even ask me why! They're insane!

My Mom: Oh, honey, since it's your first day at Hogwarts, we thought we'd get you a present! So we got you this beautiful diary!

(Have I mentioned how much I hate the word diary?)

Me (in a fakely cheerful voice): Oh, thanks so much Mom. It's so kind of you to get me such an amazing present!

Mom: You're so welcome, darling, we just know that this will come in handy in your dangerous trek through adolescence! You can write in it about all the cute boys you see at Hogwarts!

(Yeah, that's going to happen)

Me (again in fakely cheerful voice): You're just the greatest mom ever!

Mom: But darling, make sure that you don't write anything that isn't true in it, because the diary (ACK!) will bold everything you write in it that isn't completely true!

Me (abandoning fakery cheerful voice): Um, why?

My Dad: Builds character.

(Train whistles in background)

Mom: Time to go, sweetie, see you at Christmas!

Yeah. My dad's been obsessed with the "builds character" thing ever since he read some comic book about a kid who talks to his stuffed animal tiger. An my mom has all these really annoying and cheesy nicknames for me, like sweetie and honey and things like that.

So, as I was saying earlier, I was sitting in the car, maybe sort of ranting a little bit about how great Hogwarts was going to be, which I guess annoyed my brother for some reason, because he started talking about all the flaws of Hogwarts.

"You know, Mimi. You really shouldn't get your hopes too high for Hogwarts because it really isn't that great. The food is usually really good, but you have to watch out because…. And you know the doors sometimes tend to…. And every now and then the floor….. And when you go into the transfiguration class you have to be careful of…. and your eyes may start to tear up…. be in the Hospital Wing for three months….. ended up with a buffalo on his chest… candles aren't real…. "

He went on and on and on like that for like **50,000 hours** FINE! Like **10** 5 minutes, then and even though I wasn't really listening to half of what he was saying, by the time we had reached the station, I wasn't quite as excited as I had been.

By the time we had reached the parking lot and managed to park the car, we were a few minutes late so we began to run into the building. I was so concentrated on… well actually I don't know what I was so concentrated on, but I must of been concentrating on something, because I didn't even notice the huge crowd standing in front of the entrance until I ran smack into and oldish man standing near the back.

He turned around angrily. "_Excuse_ you!" he said in a stern voice. "You're not the only one trying to get on a train here! Have some resect!"

"Sorry," I said. "I wasn't really looking where I was going."

"Well, obviously," he shot back at me. "And what's this supposed to be?" he said, seeing the sleeve of one of my robes hanging out of my suitcase. He pulled it out roughly and looked at it without even asking me (and he's talking to me about respect?) "Fashion or something?"

"No, um… yeah…. it's for a… party…" I said, caught off guard, though I was usually pretty good at making up stories.

"Teenagers these days," the man said to himself. "Oi! How dare you!" he yelled at a small girl who had accidentally hit him with her elbow when she walked by him. "Get back here!" the man yelled as the little girl cowered in fear

I turned around to face my parents and Remus.

"What just happened?" my dear brother asked.

I shrugged.

"What's going on?" I asked my parents. "How come no one's going in to the station?"

"I don't know, honey," said my mom, a little worried.

All of a sudden two boys rushed over to us, one with black hair, one with brown hair and glasses. "Hey, Remus!" they called out.

"Hey guys," Remus said. "Do you know what's going on with the station?"

"Yeah, didn't you hear? They're building a Ferris Wheel inside it," said the boy with black hair. "With lights and everything."

"And they're looking for test drivers to be the first on it! Wanna go Remus?" finished the brown haired boy.

Just then, a third boy with blonde hair rushed over to join the group. "Can I go? I LOVE Ferris Wheels!" he said excitedly. The two other boys started laughing.

"That was a joke, Peter," said the one with glasses.

"Come on, really, you two! Can you please be serious?" said Remus, annoyed.

"Nope, sorry," said the black haired one. "That name has already been taken!" He burst into a fresh bout of laughter.

The brown haired boy looked at him, disgusted. "You know, that really isn't funny anymore, Sirius."

"I know!" said the black haired boy (was his name Sirius?), laughing even harder.

The Peter-boy began laughing maniacally as well. "That's hilarious, Sirius!" he gasped. "So….. funny!"

The Sirius-boy stopped laughing and stared at the blond-haired one, who continued to shake with laughter. "Actually, it really wasn't that funny, Peter."

"Ha…Ha…..Ha!…. Wait, what?" said Peter, stopping immediately. "Yeah, you're right. That was a really totally stupid joke. I mean, why would that be funny?"

The Sirius-boy and the brown-haired one shook their heads, turning back to Remus, who was looking at them like they were insane.

"Yeah, we actually don't know what's going on in the station," said the brown-haired boy. All of a sudden he noticed me.

"Hello, is this the sister Remus has told us so much about?" he asked. "James Potter, at your service," he said, bowing deeply.

"And Sirius Black," added the black-haired boy.

"Mimi Lupin at yours," I said, grinning.

"A pleasure to meet you," said Sirius, importantly.

Remus cleared his throat. "So," he said. "We have a problem."

"We do?" said Sirius, surprised.

"Um, yeah…. HOW ARE WE GETTING TO HOGWARTS IF WE CAN'T GET INTO THE STATION?!" James shouted.

"Jeez, no need to yell. I get it. And anyway, that's not a problem. I know how we'll get there."

"You do?" asked James.

"You do?" asked Remus.

"Yep," said Sirius smugly. "We'll ride horses!"

Peter looked amazed. "That's a great idea, Sirius! I can't believe I didn't think of it," he said, his eyes shining with admiration."

James and Remus burst out laughing.

"That's got to be the stupidest idea I have ever heard!" said Remus. "Even the fastest horses can only go up to 40 miles an hour at best while trains can travel at speeds reaching…"

"Yeah, yeah, Remus. Don't go all bookishy on me," said Sirius.

"Bookishy is not a word! The proper term is…"

"It can be a word if you believe!"

"What does believing have to do with anything?!"

"Like that Muggle dude Mr. Claws!"

"You mean Santa Claus. And anyway, that's just a story!"

…..

So, yes this argument continued for a while… You know, I'm getting really sleepy….I'll finish this story in the morning...

Good night writing bookl..


	2. A Story of Yesterday

**AN: Okay, peoples. I just realized that this chapter was probably pretty confusing before (with the whole truth book thing). What happened was, I crossed out all the things that Mimi said that weren't true, but I didn't realize that didn't let you use the faint that I used for that. So, now all the things that aren't true are bolded, which isn't nearly as good, and might be kind of confusing, because author's notes are bold, too, but there's not really much I can do.**

**Did that make any sense?**

**Anyway, this chapter is pretty much the same, as is the next one, with just a few more things bolded and a couple changes of words.**

Chapter 2

Good morning Writing Booklet!

It's really early right now… I think… Either that, or it's really late. It's kinda hard to tell right now. All I know is the sky is dark.

I know, I have such great observation skills.

See, I would be able to tell the time, if it weren't for someone breaking my clock last night (coughRemuscoughcough) so now I must resort to guessing.

Anyway, as promised, I will now tell the story of yesterday (or today depending on if it is morning or night at the moment).

The Story of Yesterday

Once upon a time their lived a fair maiden in a faraway kingdom who was plagued with an older brother who insisted on beating her in everything. His name was Remus Lupin, better known as ReRe.

See, yesterday when we were driving to King's Cross I was really excited about going to Hogwarts (I mean, who wouldn't be? It's _Hogwarts_!), but I was **just sitting there quietly minding me own business when** ACK! STUPID TRUTH BOOK!

I don't know if I already mentioned this, but when my parents gave me this writing booklet, they it a spell on it so that anything I wrote in here that wasn't the truth would get crossed out. Don't even ask me why! They're insane!

My Mom: Oh, honey, since it's your first day at Hogwarts, we thought we'd get you a present! So we got you this beautiful diary!

(Have I mentioned how much I hate the word diary?)

Me (in a fakely cheerful voice): Oh, thanks so much Mom. It's so kind of you to get me such an amazing present!

Mom: You're so welcome, darling, we just know that this will come in handy in your dangerous trek through adolescence! You can write in it about all the cute boys you see at Hogwarts!

(Yeah, that's going to happen)

Me (again in fakely cheerful voice): You're just the greatest mom ever!

Mom: But darling, make sure that you don't write anything that isn't true in it, because the diary (ACK!) will bold everything you write in it that isn't completely true!

Me (abandoning fakery cheerful voice): Um, why?

My Dad: Builds character.

(Train whistles in background)

Mom: Time to go, sweetie, see you at Christmas!

Yeah. My dad's been obsessed with the "builds character" thing ever since he read some comic book about a kid who talks to his stuffed animal tiger. An my mom has all these really annoying and cheesy nicknames for me, like sweetie and honey and things like that.

So, as I was saying earlier, I was sitting in the car, maybe sort of ranting a little bit about how great Hogwarts was going to be, which I guess annoyed my brother for some reason, because he started talking about all the flaws of Hogwarts.

"You know, Mimi. You really shouldn't get your hopes too high for Hogwarts because it really isn't that great. The food is usually really good, but you have to watch out because…. And you know the doors sometimes tend to…. And every now and then the floor….. And when you go into the transfiguration class you have to be careful of…. and your eyes may start to tear up…. be in the Hospital Wing for three months….. ended up with a buffalo on his chest… candles aren't real…. "

He went on and on and on like that for like **50,000 hours** FINE! Like **10** 5 minutes, then and even though I wasn't really listening to half of what he was saying, by the time we had reached the station, I wasn't quite as excited as I had been.

By the time we had reached the parking lot and managed to park the car, we were a few minutes late so we began to run into the building. I was so concentrated on… well actually I don't know what I was so concentrated on, but I must of been concentrating on something, because I didn't even notice the huge crowd standing in front of the entrance until I ran smack into and oldish man standing near the back.

He turned around angrily. "_Excuse_ you!" he said in a stern voice. "You're not the only one trying to get on a train here! Have some resect!"

"Sorry," I said. "I wasn't really looking where I was going."

"Well, obviously," he shot back at me. "And what's this supposed to be?" he said, seeing the sleeve of one of my robes hanging out of my suitcase. He pulled it out roughly and looked at it without even asking me (and he's talking to me about respect?) "Fashion or something?"

"No, um… yeah…. it's for a… party…" I said, caught off guard, though I was usually pretty good at making up stories.

"Teenagers these days," the man said to himself. "Oi! How dare you!" he yelled at a small girl who had accidentally hit him with her elbow when she walked by him. "Get back here!" the man yelled as the little girl cowered in fear

I turned around to face my parents and Remus.

"What just happened?" my dear brother asked.

I shrugged.

"What's going on?" I asked my parents. "How come no one's going in to the station?"

"I don't know, honey," said my mom, a little worried.

All of a sudden two boys rushed over to us, one with black hair, one with brown hair and glasses. "Hey, Remus!" they called out.

"Hey guys," Remus said. "Do you know what's going on with the station?"

"Yeah, didn't you hear? They're building a Ferris Wheel inside it," said the boy with black hair. "With lights and everything."

"And they're looking for test drivers to be the first on it! Wanna go Remus?" finished the brown haired boy.

Just then, a third boy with blonde hair rushed over to join the group. "Can I go? I LOVE Ferris Wheels!" he said excitedly. The two other boys started laughing.

"That was a joke, Peter," said the one with glasses.

"Come on, really, you two! Can you please be serious?" said Remus, annoyed.

"Nope, sorry," said the black haired one. "That name has already been taken!" He burst into a fresh bout of laughter.

The brown haired boy looked at him, disgusted. "You know, that really isn't funny anymore, Sirius."

"I know!" said the black haired boy (was his name Sirius?), laughing even harder.

The Peter-boy began laughing maniacally as well. "That's hilarious, Sirius!" he gasped. "So….. funny!"

The Sirius-boy stopped laughing and stared at the blond-haired one, who continued to shake with laughter. "Actually, it really wasn't that funny, Peter."

"Ha…Ha…..Ha!…. Wait, what?" said Peter, stopping immediately. "Yeah, you're right. That was a really totally stupid joke. I mean, why would that be funny?"

The Sirius-boy and the brown-haired one shook their heads, turning back to Remus, who was looking at them like they were insane.

"Yeah, we actually don't know what's going on in the station," said the brown-haired boy. All of a sudden he noticed me.

"Hello, is this the sister Remus has told us so much about?" he asked. "James Potter, at your service," he said, bowing deeply.

"And Sirius Black," added the black-haired boy.

"Mimi Lupin at yours," I said, grinning.

"A pleasure to meet you," said Sirius, importantly.

Remus cleared his throat. "So," he said. "We have a problem."

"We do?" said Sirius, surprised.

"Um, yeah…. HOW ARE WE GETTING TO HOGWARTS IF WE CAN'T GET INTO THE STATION?!" James shouted.

"Jeez, no need to yell. I get it. And anyway, that's not a problem. I know how we'll get there."

"You do?" asked James.

"You do?" asked Remus.

"Yep," said Sirius smugly. "We'll ride horses!"

Peter looked amazed. "That's a great idea, Sirius! I can't believe I didn't think of it," he said, his eyes shining with admiration."

James and Remus burst out laughing.

"That's got to be the stupidest idea I have ever heard!" said Remus. "Even the fastest horses can only go up to 40 miles an hour at best while trains can travel at speeds reaching…"

"Yeah, yeah, Remus. Don't go all bookishy on me," said Sirius.

"Bookishy is not a word! The proper term is…"

"It can be a word if you believe!"

"What does believing have to do with anything?!"

"Like that Muggle dude Mr. Claws!"

"You mean Santa Claus. And anyway, that's just a story!"

…..

So, yes this argument continued for a while… You know, I'm getting really sleepy….I'll finish this story in the morning...

Good night writing bookl..


	3. A Continued Story of Yesterday

**A/N: Okay, sorry peoples. The last chapter I updated, I just realized, was actually a previous version of this story, so it was written in third person and a lot of other things were changed. Sorry about that. I really hadn't meant to add that chapter on. So this is the real version of it. **

**On a different not (and this is late), but I would like to thank Kung Fu Coffee (whose awesome stories you should totally check out) for favoriting and following this story, Snugglesmacky and Absidoodle for following, Mei for reviewing, and anyone else who bothered to read this story! Thanks so much to all you guys! You don't know how much this means to me!**

**Same info as said in the last chapter.**

**Disclaimer: While I would love to own Harry Potter, I think that it is pretty obvious that I do not. I "disclaim" (is that even a word?) everything I have written here, as it belongs to the amazing J. K. Rowling, not me.**

Chapter 3

Hello, again!

Today is a day!

Okay, that sounded odd. I mean, today is actually morning (I can see the sun), not night or morning or whatever. Still, no one's up yet, though, so I was bored and I decided to finish my story of yesterday.

The Continued Story of Yesterday

While Remus and Sirius continued bickering, James, Peter, and I were busy trying to find a way to get on the train, as whatever was going on inside the station didn't appear to be ending anytime soon. And when I say "James, Peter, and I", I really mean me. James had begun to run around the station screaming like a maniac, and Peter seemed to be trying to…. Well, actually I have absolutely no idea what Peter was trying to do. He was sitting on the floor with his legs crossed, his arms outstretched, and his eyes squeezed tightly shut, and he was muttering under his breath something that sounded like "Fly away, potato salad….. potato salad, fly, fly!"

I decided that I would figure out a way to get us to Hogwarts, even if no one was going to help me.

It was actually pretty simple. In a train station like King's Cross, there are lots of ladders and ropes and other things that I needed, so I figured out a plan pretty quickly.

The room we were in was big and square, with low-hanging rectangular lights, like the kind you sometimes see in schools, and the bricks were not perfectly lined up with one another. I grabbed a thick rope that lay coiled in a corner, attached it to my belt, and began to climb up one of the walls, using the bricks that jutted out.

Strangely, no one really seemed to notice me.

Remus and Sirius were still arguing. James was still screaming. Peter was still…. meditating? And my parents seemed to have disappeared. Everyone else in the station was watching the front, to try and see what was going on inside the room where the trains were.

I was easily able to climb up to one of the tall windows in the station and, from there, jump onto one of the large hanging lights. I tied the rope I was carrying to a rod next to me.

I whistled loudly. "Hey ReRe!" I called down to my dear brother.

He looked up, completely unsurprised to see me there, as I did this kind of thing a lot. "I said don't call me that!" he shouted back, annoyed.

I ignored him. "Get your friends and climb up!" I said, lowering the rope.

I saw him tap Sirius and James on the shoulder. Peter required vigorous shaking to get him to snap out of his "meditation". Remus said something to the three.

They looked up at me.

"Hey! How come you get to be up there!" Sirius asked me, annoyed.

I motioned to the rope.

"Oh," he said. And began to very calmly climb up it, as did James. They seemed to be used to this type of thing. Peter followed them a little more hesitantly.

"Hey, Remus! What's wrong? You afraid of heights or something?" James asked loudly.

"No," answered Remus, unconvincingly, and he too began to climb.

Sirius and James reached the light where I was waiting pretty quickly, and we sat there for a while until eventually Peter finished his climb up the rope as well.

My brother dearest, however, had still only climbed a few feet up the rope.

"Hurry up, Remus! You're taking FOREVER!" yelled James, annoyed.

"Am…not," said Remus in a scared voice. "I'm… just… being….. careful."

"Uh-huh, sure," I said to myself. I grabbed the end of the rope and looked at James and Sirius. Understanding crossed their faces and they did the same.

"On the count of three," I said quietly. "One, two, THREE!"

We tugged hard on the rope. I was planning to have us safely reel my brother up onto the light fixture with us, but I must have misjudged Sirius and James's strength because when we pulled the rope, Remus and the rope came flying up and almost hit the ceiling, then landed extremely hard on the light that we were carefully balancing on, causing it to start swinging violently. We clutched on for dear life.

"Hold….. on," I said between swings. Peter and Remus squeezed their eyes shut.

When the swinging finally stopped (or at least slowed down), I looked warily down at the crowd below us, but, still, no one seemed to have seen us. Seeing this, I got to my feet once more and reached up to a handle sticking out of the ceiling. I tugged hard and a trapdoor fell open.

"Come on," I said to the boys, climbing up and out of the hole in the ceiling. One by one, they followed me.

I stood up and looked around. We were on the roof of King's Cross. It was really windy up there, and there was nothing really to hold on to, but it didn't matter.

I checked my watch. "It's 11:00! The train's going to be leaving any minute! We have to get back down and into the station before…." I stopped talking as I heard a loud train whistle and a call of "All Aboard!". In front of us, a large red steam engine was coming out of the station. On the side were letters spelling out "Hogwarts Express".

"We missed it! It's leaving!" Sirius shouted.

Immediately, the five of us began running to the spot where the roof met the open air. We just barely made it.

I pushed Remus off the roof before me, in case he got cold feet and didn't jump, and then I leaped after him. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sirius do the same with Peter.

We landed with a thud on the top of the train. The five of us lay there for a second trying to catch our breath. The air was rushing by us, making it hard to get up. As I watched, the station disappeared completely from view, as did roads and houses. Eventually, I said, "We've got to find a way into the Express."

"Couldn't we…. Couldn't we just ride to Hogwarts like this?" asked Peter, hopefully. I gave him a look.

"Just asking!" he said, defensively.

I decided that if anything was going to get done, I had to do it myself.

"Give me your wand," I said to my brother.

"Why?" he asked confused.

"Just give me it!"

"Fine. Here," Remus said, handing me it. He knew better than to argue with me; I always won.

I cast a shield charm over the roof of the train to protect us from the wind.

"How do you know how to do that?" asked Remus, who had recovered enough to return to his old brotherly ways. "You're not supposed to know any magic yet!"

"I learned," I replied shortly. Carefully, I began to climb down the side of the train, testing the doors. Unsurprisingly, they were all locked. "Alohamora," I said, pointing my wand at the nearest one.

It opened. The boys and I carefully filed in, and we locked it behind us. James, Sirius, and Peter were looking at me amazed.

"That was cool," James said. I ignored him.

"Here," I said to my brother, handing him his wand back.

And, that concludes our Story of Yesterday!

I've got to put this writing booklet away now.. People are starting to wake up, and soon it'll be time to go down for breakfast.

…..

**AN: Like it? For those of you who have read the Mysterious Benedict Society trilogy, I'm basing Mimi a bit off of Kate. Thanks for reading! I don't know when I'll be able to post the next chapter. It might not be for a while, though.**


	4. Savvy?

**AN: Sorry about all the technical difficulties in the last two chapters. But now, I have a very important question to ask you…..**

**Are you still alive? If you said yes, congratulations, you've made it this far in your dangerous trek through this story! :) :) If no, then… I'll take care of your funeral arrangements. :)**

**I'm really sorry I haven't posted in so long. I've honestly just been too lazy to write another chapter. **

**I know, I'm a terrible person :)**

Chapter 4

You probably are wondering why I haven''t dated these "entry" things.

And if you aren't wondering, then you should be.

The reason is because I don't believe in dates. They're just things that we, as humans, made up! Do they have any real meaning? No! They don't! I could just decide that this is the 60th of Redecembere and who are you to say that I'm wrong?!

You know another thing I don't believe in? Older brothers! I mean, what's the point of them?! They just get in the way and never actually do _anything_ to help!

Take this morning, for instance.

I was just calmly walking down the stairs to go get breakfast with this girl I met, Charlie Bernala, I think her name was, when I dropped my hairband. I reached down to pick it up, but it was gone. Charlie and I began searching on the ground for it, when I felt something under my foot.

I looked down, and it was a book.

Suddenly, my dearest brother came charging down the stairs. "MINERVA LUPIN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! YOU'RE STEPPING ON A BOOK!" Remus shouted at me.

I glanced up at him and then looked down once more. "Yes," I agreed.

"YOU'RE STEPPING ON A BOOK! A BOOK!" he repeated as if I hadn't understood him the first time.

Remus marched down the stairs to where I had committed the terrible crime, snatched the book up, **slapped me in the face** (okay, maybe he didn't exactly do that) and stormed back in to his common room.

"Well, that was dramatic," I said, dryly.

I turned around to see Charlie looking at me strangely. "Your name's Minerva?"

"Yeah…," I said, confused. I guess she thought my name was just Mimi.

But then, for some odd reason, Charlie started giggling. And once she had started she couldn't stop. "Your name's Mi….Miner..va!" she choked out.

"It really isn't that funny," I said, annoyed. But Charlie ignored more and laughed harder and harder.

I stared at her. Then, deciding to ignore her, as she had obviously gone insane, I continued walking down the stairs

Charlie followed me, though she was having a bit of trouble as she was doubled over in laughter.

We "walked" through the hallway and into the Great Hall. I looked around quickly for an open seat, of which there were very few, but then the Sirius dude motioned me over to where he was sitting with his friends at the Gryffindor table.

"HEY! COME! OVER! HERE!" he called over the noise of the hall.

Having nothing better to do, I went over to join him and James and Peter. Charlie ambled slowly after me, still chuckling.

When we got to the table, James looked at Charlie, then at me, then back at Charlie.

"What's so funny?" he asked, confused.

"I….," I began, meaning to explain the story.

"Her….. her name's….. Mi…. Minerva!" Charlie said with difficulty.

James eyes widened. "Really?" he asked, turning to me.

I shrugged.

At once James started laughing. Sirius and Peter, hearing the story, began to as well.

"What's so funny?" asked a pretty girl sitting next to James. I recognized her from the night before. What was her name? It was like….. Candy, or something.

"Yeah," said a red-haired girl sitting across from Peter. I assumed this was the famous Lily Evans, who I was told James was completely in love with, how ever much he tried to say he wasn't.

"Her….. name's… Mi...nerva!"

The story went through the hall like wildfire, and soon the ceiling rang with the laughter of the entire school. I even saw the serious-looking Professor Marlester fall out of his seat due to laughter.

I stood there, annoyed, with my hands on my hips. "This really isn't funny, guys."

Of course, no one listened to me.

So goes the story of my life.

….

….

Okay, you know this really isn't my fault.

It's later in the day, right now, in case you were wondering. The clock says it's 11:32, but I know that can't be right, because it's been saying that for like the last **HOUR TWENTY MINUTES TEN MINUTES** WHATEVER!

Oh, wait a minute. It just moved.

It is now 11:33.

I'm sitting here, bored out of my mind, at the back of Charms class, watching everyone else "lifting" feathers off their desks (a.k.a. exploding them, setting their desks on fire, setting each other on fire, setting themselves on fire, setting Professor Escer on fire, etc.).

Why is this?, you might ask.

Well, see, at the beginning of class, Professor Escer asked us to take out our wands.

This, of course, made compete sense, as we needed them to perform magic (obviously).

So I reached into my back pocket, expecting to feel a wooden handle there.

But my pocket was empty.

I checked the other one as well, to the same result.

I was starting to panic a bit at this point, and I ducked down under my desk to check if it had fallen and I hadn't noticed.

There was nothing there, either.

I looked all around the room, but nowhere did I see any hint to where my wand was.

I thought I might have dropped it on my way to class, but something made me doubt that.

Eventually, I came to the completely understandable conclusion that someone MUST have stolen it.

First I looked to the people around me, but when I didn't see my wand sticking out of any bags or pockets, I decided I needed to look closer

Completely forgetting where I was, I grabbed next to me's frilly pink bag thing and began to search through it.

Some books…. some pencils…. a few pens…two erasers… some notes… a…. What even is that?!….. nope, no Mimi wand.

There were, it turns out, many…ah, _interesting_ objects in a person's bag. I even found a little baggie labeled "Crumple-Horned Snorkack droppings" in a first year's Care of Magical Creatures book.

I quickly put it down.

Soon, I had searched the whole row, and found no trace of my wand.

So, I moved to other rows.

I got up, walked over to the row in front of me, and picked up a black backpack hanging on the back of a girl's desk. After a quick search through it, I was able to conclude that my wand was not in this bag either.

I was about to pick up a boy's bag that was hanging on the side of his desk, when I noticed how quiet the class had gotten. Then I voice rang through the silence.

"Minerva Lupin, what in the world are you….!" the voice stopped upon hearing the whispers and giggles of the class.

"Her name's Minerva?"

"Minerva?"

Soon the class was laughing like crazy.

Oh, no. Not this again.

"Fine, Mimi Lupin," the voice tried again, once the laughs had abated a bit. "What in the _world_ do you think you're doing?!"

"Nothing, Professor Escer."

"We've been watching you as you searched through people's bags for the last ten minutes now!" she said.

"I was looking for my wand, Professor….."

And, then, all of a sudden, it hit me.

The reason I couldn't find my wand was because… I had never bought one!

You might think this was dumb, but it really wasn't my fault!

See, when we went shopping at Diagon Alley for school supplies, I might, um, not have necessarily remembered to bring my list.

**Which wasn't my fault either**!

Okay, maybe that part was.

But, see, I was then forced to remember everything that had been on the list (and that was a lot of things) so how can I be blamed if I forgot one tiny inconsequential detail?

I can't!

"Miss Lupin? Miss Lupin!" someone called.

I suddenly jerked back into reality.

"Um, Professor?" I started. "It seems that I sort of…. forgot to buy a wand."

She just looked at me, incredulously. "You forgot to….. buy a _wand_?" she said, as if thinking she must have misheard me.

I nodded.

"Well then," Professor Escer said, recovering slightly and becoming businesslike once more. "You'll just have to….. yes, you'll just have to sit at the back of the class now, until you get a wand."

So, I, feeling a bit foolish (even though this was **in no way **my fault…)

You know what writing booklet, this "bolding things" thing is really getting on my nerves.

And you should know that I live in the Gryffindor common room.

And in that common room there is a fireplace.

FIREplace. FIRE. Like, you know, the stuff that DESTROYS PAPER!

And in case you didn't know, you are, indeed, made out of paper.

And, I could just happen to be walking by said fireplace and _accidentally_ trip and possibly let whatever I happened to be holding in my hand into the fire, where in would _burn_.

Savvy?

I love that word, by the way. Savvy. Sav-vy. SAVVY _SAVVY_ SAVVY SAVVY SAVVY SAVVY…

Anyway, where was I?

Right, so I picked up my stuff and walked slowly towards the back of the classroom.

Professor Escer continued with her lesson as though nothing had happened, though the other students kept throwing me weird glances for some reason.

In fact, someone must have told the rest of the school about the wand incident, because those weird glances kept coming my way for the rest of the day.

Transfiguration was, by far, my least favorite class, though. And that's saying something, considering I wasn't even able to participate in any of them, except for Potions.

Which, by the way, was the class I absolutely LOVED!

Even though I was pretty much a failure at it.

But Professor Dulce was such a nice smiling little man, that you couldn't help but like him.

You know, like you like strawberries.

Or ice cream.

Unless you don't like strawberries or ice cream. In which case….you wouldn't obviously, because….you don't like them, so… that would mean….

…What was I talking about again?

Anyway, nothing much really happened the rest of the day. Just the same incredulous looks on the teachers' faces when I told them I didn't have a wand, and the same giggles from the class.

Yep.

Charlie just waved me over. Better go talk to her, huh?

And while I'm walking over there I might just accidentally trip and drop whatever I happen to be holding into the fireplace.

You never know. :)

…..

**Again, I'm really sorry, everyone who cares, about the delay. At least this chapter's a little longer.**

**Maybe?**

**Yep, so see ya soon.**


	5. His Lordship

Chapter 5

When I woke up this morning, the first thing I did was visit the Owlrey, to send a letter I had written.

Actually, I had tried to send it last night, but Filch caught me "up after hours" (how was I supposed to know that you weren't allowed awake at 1:00 in the morning?).

And here is a copy of my poetic letter that I put hours and hours into and will make you crumble into dust with jealousy that you cannot write anything nearly as amazing as it!

_Dear Mom,_

_Send me a wand ASAP._

_-Mimi_

Awesome, right?

I know.

I've been thinking, though. Isn't using owls to send messages, like, animal cruelty or something? I mean, we're pretty much forcing them to break their backs and carry these letters and heavy packages thousands and thousands of miles for us, and what reward do they get?!

A biscuit, if they're lucky.

Doesn't that seem a teensy bit unfair to you?

Just a bit?

So that is why, when my parents offered to buy me an owl for my birthday, I refused.

Unfortunately, I am now thinking that that was a terrible idea.

Because, now, whatever owl I would have gotten is probably stuck with some rich dude who sends all these presents to his friends every single day, not giving a moment's thought to his poor owl, who is laboring constantly to make sure that these gifts are delivered on time. Whereas, if I had been its owner, it probably wouldn't have had to send any messages at all!

Except for this one, but it doesn't really count. At all. Even slightly.

And, now, I am stuck using the "family owl".

Whose name is Lord Fluffers, by the way.

**Remus picked out the name**, in case you were wondering.

BLARGH!

Writing booklet, you've really got to stop doing that.

Okay, maybe I might have picked out the name.

But I was like five, so you can't blame me!

And, anyway, thats not the point.

The point is that Lord Fluffers has got to be the WORST and most SPOILED owl in the history of the world!

I mean, you've got to bribe him to take your letters!

I've spent **thousands** of galleons just trying to get that owl to send a single stinkin' letter!

And I'm not even kidding.

My total last year was 237 galleons, 14 sickles and 21 knuts worth of OWL TREATS!

And I had to walk up all these flights of stairs to even start _trying_ to bribe this owl!

Knowing full well that if I didn't meet His Majesty's needs, I could very well **lose my life**!

….Apparently, you don't know my owl very well, writing booklet. Because if you did, you would know that I actually **could be killed at the claws of Lord Fluffers**!

Fine, be stubborn like that, but I know the truth!

THE TRUTH I TELL YOU!

… I'm getting off topic now.

So, as I was saying, after a long laborious trek up the stairs (of which there were exactly 1,372) I finally managed to actually GET to the Owlrey.

Or so I thought.

I closed my eyes and leaned back against the wall, trying to catch my breath for a few minutes.

The Owlrey seemed strangely quite, though. I felt no breath of wind on my face, that would signal my being outside, and the only owl hoots I heard sounded strangely far away.

Everything in general, was a lot quieter than I had imagined.

Which was good, I guess.

Until I opened my eyes to see myself standing, not against the wall of the Owlrey, as I had previously though, but on a small landing that lead only to another flight of stairs.

FLIGHT OF STAIRS! You know, like the things you have to WALK UP!

And, on top of that, this flight seemed to be even longer than the first!

How could the Hogwarts Founders do this to me?!

It was probably no problem for them, of course, as they could just levitate themselves up, or something. But really! Couldn't they give a second's thought to the poor lost first years that were just trying to deliver a single letter and would count themselves lucky to know any magic at all?!

COULDN'T THEY?!

Apparently not.

Apparently, all that these "great role models" ever thought about was themselves.

How could Professor Dumbledore lie to us like that?! Telling us that these were "great people who did many noble and brave things"?

And Professor Binns tell us all about the "magnificent" history of the Hogwarts Founders.

These people must have been brainwashed!

BRAINWASHED I TELL YOU!

…..The Sorting Hat really needs a new topic of song.

….

….

Well, I sent my letter.

And I'm not dead, at least not yet.

But soon I will be.

The reason why? BECAUSE **MY OWL IS OUT TO KILL ME!**

Writing booklet, you've got problems.

When I walked up to the Owlrey and I didn't meet His Lordship's needs of owl treats, no matter how much I crooned that I would get him more later, he simply "scratched" me on the back and flew away (luckily taking my letter with him).

Now, why is scratched in quotation marks you may ask?

Because "scratch" is way too simple of a word to say what this owl did to me!

And I would ask ReRe for a better word if I wasn't physically tied to a bed in the Hospital Wing.

Which, by the way, was My Captor's doing, not mine.

But how was I supposed to know that when I walked in she wouldn't just put some, I don't know, magical ointment or something only wound and be done with it.

Because, instead, she asked me how I got it (she didn't believe me when I said my owl scratched me, and was convinced that I had been doing something dangerous, which I guess I had) and told me I was going to have to stay in the Hospital Wing overnight!

OVERNIGHT!

What's up with that?

And I might have believed her that this was necessary, if I hadn't seen a book on her shelf titled "Healing Large Scratches in 34 seconds".

After seeing that book, I, of course, had decided to escape, not knowing that her office was full of trick wires and lazar beams and video camaras (and ReRe tells me that muggle inventions don't work in Hogwarts!).

After about twenty tried and failed escapes (I had even tried that windows; they were locked), My Captor tied me to the bed.

Which is, I am sure, not at all medical protocol.

And so now I am stuck here for **eons** to come.

…

…

Sirius and James visited me earlier, which I was not expecting.

Of course, all they did was crack jokes about how I got beat up by my owl.

…..They must not have known Lord Fluffers very well.

And I suppose Peter was there as well, but I didn't notice him very much. He seemed like the quiet type.

Remus was, of course, there along with his friends, but he didn't seem very happy about having to visit his little sister in the Hospital Wing.

And I thought older brothers were supposed to care about their younger siblings.

Apparently not.

All he said to me was, "If you know so much magic already, how come you can't get yourself out of here?"

I guess he was expecting me to say something like "I haven't learned enough spells yet."

But I shrugged. "I don't have a wand, remember? And I tried to steal My Captor's wand, but she caught me."

"Your "Captor"?" Sirius asked.

I shrugged again. "Madam Pomfrey."

He and James roared with laughter at this. Remus just looked sullen. Peter seemed confused.

"She's got the makings of real Marauder (ah, so that was the "M" word), huh Remus!" said Sirius, still laughing.

ReRe stayed sullen.

Oh, and I figured out a better word for how my owl attacked me. He "lacerated" me.

I asked Remus. He had some really long definition for it.

The four boys only stayed a few minutes.

Oh, and Charlie visited me as well, and though she didn't say much, as usual, she gave me someone to talk to, at , least.

After her visit, I was alone.

So, as I said before, goes the story of my life.

…..

**AN: Okay, sorry, peoples, but this is going to be my last chapter for a while, probably until September, actually. Because after this week, I'm really busy for like the entire summer.**

**So, yeah. Ovwa! (that's French, by the way)**

**Oh, and make sure to review! Even if you just say "Hi" or something, that's good enough for me! :)**


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